So I’m at work and completely distracted so thought I would take a few minutes to get this down and hopefully that will return my focus.

Two things.

First, many of my agility friends are getting or already have puppies. Border collie puppies. I WANT A PUPPY!!!  There is even a 11 month old red and white BC in foster care in Indy… <sigh> I could skip the whole needing to pee every hour part.  But alas, my future is destined to a house in chaos because of trying to sell it without it becoming a bunch of rooms of “this is going” and “this is being sold”.  Plus dealing with 3 dogs instead of two. Then once the move to OR occurs, it’s living in an RV for 6 months or so.   Not only that but a doggie door would be a danger to a new pup and my fence is good enough for my two dogs, but for a new dog that could clear it with no issues?  Not a good idea. So lots of reasons to not get a young dog right now but it does not stop the fact that I want a new agility partner sooooooo badly right now! I can not even believe how strong my jealousy is of my friends.  <sigh>

Second, selling the house. It will go on the market this week. The idea is it will sell in Sept or Oct and I will vacate in November.  Or at least, that’s the ideal. We’ll see what actually happens. But along with selling and moving across the country to live in an RV comes the whole down-sizing issue. So many things will go… but it’s the hard choice of what goes. I’ve already resigned to getting rid of the couches and frankly would not mind if they went soon. Then I can quit vacuuming them and go to folding chairs or something in the living room. Not exactly great for company, but let’s face it, I’m not the sociable type. I don’t watch a lot of TV and watching even less would be ok with me.  Though I do love to recline in them…..

Kitchen stuff. We have a LOT of kitchen stuff and a lot of it we don’t even use very often. So then it’s deciding of all that stuff, what stays and goes.  I have several plants and frankly I want them gone now. I’m tired of the bugs they draw and they have to go sometime, might as well be now.

I was cleaning this past weekend in prep for the realtor Recent to come take pictures on Wednesday.  Along with that came the  oh my goodness I have to keep the house clean for showings and what about the dogs? and should I get rid of stuff now and if so would that detract from the house because now it looks crappy inside?  I mean there is just a lot of crap to think through.

And as i was dusting, I would think, ok that can be sold, that can be sold, this needs to stay but then I was like, will I remember it all when the time comes?  I mean, I have to go through my entire life in that house and make a decision to let it go.  I envy Kat that she could do that when she moved to San Fran. The idea of starting over and starting fresh is nice, but the reality of it is so scary and intimidating and terrifying really.

And I have to do it all by myself. Kris will try to come back to help but honestly, with a brand new business opening up, what are the chances of that happening?

And then, oh man, what if someone wants my house now? I mean, like I have to move out soon or they won’t buy it?  What do I do then? Move into monthly housing? With two dogs?  Ahh!!!!!

I know I’m having a freak out day. It happens, my blog, let me vent.  ? I know I will manage Wholesale and I know it will all be ok, but man, the future is terrifying today.

My husband owes me a cute red and white border collie from herding lines for all of this. ?