Coming back

It’s amazing how I can think I’m totally good and then someone brings up Kota, or we get a nice card from our vet’s office and I lose it all over again.

Grief sucks and I wish I could have Kota back.

Moving On

I will create Kota’s eulogy soon. I miss him and will for a long time but each day gets easier. The sad moments fewer. Doesn’t mean I loved him less, but that the true Kota, the Kota of 15 years, had been missing for a while.

Tonight I will write about a couple tricks I’m working on with Twitch. One is a grab a blanket and roll over to cover himself up. It’s very cute and getting pretty solid but it is still a hard trick for him to do.

The next is to have him go get Shadow and bring her along. She is old and deaf so if we could teach him to go collect her, that would be super helpful. 🙂

Tricks Twitch Knows
Shake
Roll over
Left
Port
Turn
Play dead
Say hi
Target
Touch
Cesar
Crawl
Back
Sit
Down
Spot
Swoosh
Heel side
Front
Around
Through

Plus all the agility obstacles. 🙂

Happy Birthday Kota

Today is the day I picked to be Kota’s birthday back in 1999. He almost made it to this day. Part of me wanted him to make it but not enough to try and keep him going when his body was telling me it was done. I still can’t believe he is gone.

Happy Birthday Kota Buddy.

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Thoughts Day Four

I miss him.

He always got up with me and kept me company while I did my stretches before work. No more.

He guarded our bedroom from bad guys and laid by the door most nights. He has passed the guarding and alerting on to Twitch who still has lots to learn.

Kris made a comment today that he felt like he had been missing him for a while. I agree, Kota just wasn’t the same and that is what happens when you care for a dog so well that age and cancer take them in the end.

We got his ashes back today. More tears.

The end of an era. Pepper, then Tasha, then Jett and now Kota. The original Flying Paws Agility dogs have all passed on. Xen, Kate and Twitch are left to take up the slack and keep us moving forward.

Run pain free buddy.

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Thoughts Day Three

I only cried once today. My sister asked what happened and I told them. It took a long time to tell the story of Tasha and I suspect this too will take time.

It gets easier each day. Fewer sad mom nets and more fond memories. I started going through old photos in prep for writing his eulogy and it was so fun to see him in his prime. It made these last few months more stark in his decline. I am comfortable that it was his time and I’m glad I had the extra time this past year. I wish I could have done more for his breathing. We called him Darth Kota.

My Little Man.

My little Buddy.

Rest easy bud.

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