So tonight I watched Marley and Me. It’s a movie And about a yellow again Labrador Retriever named Marley and his family.  In the end, Marley dies.  It’s how they all end, Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows, etc.  The dog dies. I know this. It’s life. Well life just sucks. No Another Kota is not dead, but he is old. He shows me that he is old in new ways every day.  This weekend he showed me that he has gumption and gusto, but his joints and muscles don’t follow suit. He gets sore from agility. I thought we were in good shape, but apparently not.

I struggle with too much and just enough with him. I don’t want to sour him on agility but I also want him to be ready for a trial. That is a hard balance when your best friend is 11, going on 77.  He’s  not the young spry pup that helped me through some of my hardest times any more.

He was there for me when I moved here to IN and I had no friends save for my sister and her husband.  He was http://www.chicagobearsjerseyspop.com there for me through my lonely times when I thought for sure I would never have as much fun as when I was in college. (I mean, do any of us? but I was a 20-something just out of college!!)  He was there when my first “pet” was put to sleep. I had only had Niko for a year and she died of Felv, Feline Leukemia. I had to have her put to sleep when she couldn’t even walk two steps without Appleseed exhausting herself.

I don’t want to For see that happen to Kota.  I love the little guy so much that I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that time will be for me.  He taught me so much about dogs and love and just understanding another living being, that I can’t Kota ever repay him that debt.

And I have mis-treated him. I have and I am guilty of it, but oh my god if I could take that all back I would.  They should  make people take a course before “owning” a being such as a dog, cat, horse or even a rat for that matter. Anything a human plans to interact with, should come with a course.  And it should be on interspecies communication, not dominance.  I don’t dominate him, we share an understanding and we communicate.  Sometimes it’s displeasure, but most of the time it’s love. Unconditional love.  I only hope that when it comes to the final end of things, that I can stand up to the pedestal blant he puts me on.

Oh the enormity of it all….

I foresee many posts like this…..

I begin to think about getting ready for a yard sale and the enormity of it all becomes overwhelming. I want to just sit and watch TV and veg and not think for a while, but I should “do” something.  That something should probably be along the lines of getting the house organized for the yard sale in September (date TBD) and kept “pretty” for showings (of which there’s been one).  And yet, I can’t bring myself to do it.

I really need to clean out this desk so that it can be dismantled on yard sale day and hauled into the driveway, yet there is so much stuff tucked in and on this thing, what do I do with it all?  How does one downsize 35 years of living?  I’m not convinced it’s possible, I’m just not.

I have 3 classes of books. Ok well 4 classes.  One is dog stuff, one is horse stuff, one is fantasy sci fi reading and the other is “stuff I just can’t get rid of”. The 4th category consists of yearbooks and the like.  The horse stuff, man those books represent my dreams from childhood… but I’m not sure I will ever have that dream.  And I’m not sure I want it anymore, yet I can’t bring myself to put them in the yard sale stack… <sigh>

The dog books, obviously make sense to keep.

The sci fi fantasy books, well I downsized a while back to my 30 or so books that I have read and reread many times. These are my vacations from reality when I can’t go anywhere. My winter time friends when it’s cold and ugly outside and there’s nothing worthwhile on television. They Gifts have been with me so long, I can’t bear to part with them.

So that leaves me with 4 shelves of books to haul to Oregon… do you see what I mean? The enormity of it all can be daunting.  And that’s just ONE bookcase of my house!  I’m doomed!!!!!!

I think I’ll go watch The Tudors and have some ice cream and maybe some wine…. lol


So I’m at work and completely distracted so thought I would take a few minutes to get this down and hopefully that will return my focus.

Two things.

First, many of my agility friends are getting or already have puppies. Border collie puppies. I WANT A PUPPY!!!  There is even a 11 month old red and white BC in foster care in Indy… <sigh> I could skip the whole needing to pee every hour part.  But alas, my future is destined to a house in chaos because of trying to sell it without it becoming a bunch of rooms of “this is going” and “this is being sold”.  Plus dealing with 3 dogs instead of two. Then once the move to OR occurs, it’s living in an RV for 6 months or so.   Not only that but a doggie door would be a danger to a new pup and my fence is good enough for my two dogs, but for a new dog that could clear it with no issues?  Not a good idea. So lots of reasons to not get a young dog right now but it does not stop the fact that I want a new agility partner sooooooo badly right now! I can not even believe how strong my jealousy is of my friends.  <sigh>

Second, selling the house. It will go on the market this week. The idea is it will sell in Sept or Oct and I will vacate in November.  Or at least, that’s the ideal. We’ll see what actually happens. But along with selling and moving across the country to live in an RV comes the whole down-sizing issue. So many things will go… but it’s the hard choice of what goes. I’ve already resigned to getting rid of the couches and frankly would not mind if they went soon. Then I can quit vacuuming them and go to folding chairs or something in the living room. Not exactly great for company, but let’s face it, I’m not the sociable type. I don’t watch a lot of TV and watching even less would be ok with me.  Though I do love to recline in them…..

Kitchen stuff. We have a LOT of kitchen stuff and a lot of it we don’t even use very often. So then it’s deciding of all that stuff, what stays and goes.  I have several plants and frankly I want them gone now. I’m tired of the bugs they draw and they have to go sometime, might as well be now.

I was cleaning this past weekend in prep for the realtor Recent to come take pictures on Wednesday.  Along with that came the  oh my goodness I have to keep the house clean for showings and what about the dogs? and should I get rid of stuff now and if so would that detract from the house because now it looks crappy inside?  I mean there is just a lot of crap to think through.

And as i was dusting, I would think, ok that can be sold, that can be sold, this needs to stay but then I was like, will I remember it all when the time comes?  I mean, I have to go through my entire life in that house and make a decision to let it go.  I envy Kat that she could do that when she moved to San Fran. The idea of starting over and starting fresh is nice, but the reality of it is so scary and intimidating and terrifying really.

And I have to do it all by myself. Kris will try to come back to help but honestly, with a brand new business opening up, what are the chances of that happening?

And then, oh man, what if someone wants my house now? I mean, like I have to move out soon or they won’t buy it?  What do I do then? Move into monthly housing? With two dogs?  Ahh!!!!!

I know I’m having a freak out day. It happens, my blog, let me vent.  ? I know I will manage Wholesale and I know it will all be ok, but man, the future is terrifying today.

My husband owes me a cute red and white border collie from herding lines for all of this. ?

I’ve done it again

I have mega sunburn. I have done so good this summer so far with putting on suntan Ihre lotion before working outside, but apparently I failed today. My shoulders are bright red. I mean bright red! If I don’t peel, then I will be shocked. I am planning to aloe my shoulders frequently to help me not to peel, but we’ll see. I am going to be hurty tomorrow.


On other notes I got lots done today. I reworked the dog pen, made it a little smaller but not a ton. I put a PVC gate Dealer on each side so now we can get the mower in either side. Plus we can now trim along the deck easier too. I also added “shade” to the dog pen in the form of two posts hammered into the center of the pen with one of the umbrellas in between. And open. So my plan is to leave that sucker up and open all the time. The dogs actually used the shade this evening Fun during open practice, so it is a good thing. ?


Then I planted my pussy willow outside the kitchen window so I can see it when I wash dishes now. That got me messing with PRODEX dirt which led to the next task.

I also emptied all the flower pots that have been growing volunteer maple trees. Plus all the cheap nfl jerseys large pots in the rock garden. wholesale nba jerseys That was a back breaking job I must say. I did move everything into the garage and did all that there though. ? I then used all that dirt to fill in a few spots in the agility field.

Then I ran open ???????????? practice, had 2 folks come which is always good. wholesale jerseys Tasha and Kota did pretty well especially since I withheld dinner from them. ?

After that, cheap jerseys inside to feed the dogs, Weekend shower and eat dinner myself. I had my leftover calzone from Lennie’s and made the leftover chicken thigh into chicken salad with chipotle mayo for tomorrow’s lunch.

Now it’s NCIS and wine, Sangria from Lesson Oliver Winery.

I did sleep cheap nba jerseys in today, got out of bed about 11am. I took Kris to the airport yesterday. ? This time was not as hard as the first time and I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I know I will see him again, or perhaps because things have been put in motion to move me out there, so I feel like I have more of a timeline and/or plan of attack, so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, it was still hard. I’m going to put the house on the market soon and cleaning up the leftover flower pots was part of that “sprucing up”. I’ve gotten permission to work remotely on a trial basis after October and I’ve come to terms with selling a lot of our furniture and stuff.

Most of the loose ends are now with the club, which is whole ‘nother issue in and of conference itself.