Down in the Dumps

I have been really prone to sadness lately.

Kris’ grandpa Bob passed away the end of January.

Mrs G, my girl scout canoeing coach passed away this past Saturday.

Ted’s mother passed away this past weekend as well.

A friend’s digs were poisoned by rat poison somehow. They are doing ok so far.

Another friend’s dog had to have emergency spay surgery from pyometra. She should have been 4 weeks pregnant. 🙁

And another friend’s dog was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

Add on top of all the close personal losses, is the whole issue with mass shootings going on in schools and the lack fo the damn government to do anything about it.

I took a sick day today because of headaches and just plain can’t adult anymore. I have found myself getting surly again so a day off was needed. I slept till 10. I did some bills. I took a nap. We played outside a bit.

I hope I start feeling better soon.

Personal Issues

I have a weakness.

I get jealous.

Frequently.

I am not proud of this and it bothers me. If you know how to stop being jealous, I am all ears.

My jealousy is usually relating to something someone else has that I don’t.

Thicker hair.

Faster dog.

Etc.

How to figure out how to be happy with what I have?

I dye my hair. But I still wish it was thicker.

I came to terms with who I was back in 2000 or so and was comfortable with who I was and was confident on my own. I wish to achieve that feeling in other things.

But how?

USDAA Clear Mind 2018-01-13

On the weekend of the 13/14th of January I took Twitch and Vader to the USDAA Tournament-only trial at Daisy Peel’s place. Couldn’t beat the view! Chilly mornings but the days warmed up and were stunning for January.

Twitch tried Team for the first time pairing with Heather and Navarre. He did so well! So proud of the little guy. He has been there before but not for competition. He ran well for me and had lots of Qs and gave me a lot of himself. Very pleased with him.

Vader and I did Team with April/Josie and Molly/Moxie. Vader was a rock star! He got lots of points and ran very well. We also tried Grand Prix for the first time. We didn’t Q due to a refusal or two but that is ok. All the rest of his runs were really fantastic. He got first place in Steeplechase and won $10! He did very well in a new place on the nice turf there.

Goals and How Not to Achieve Them

Goal: eat healthier, smaller portions and stop snacking.

I did well for a couple weeks. Then I slipped and kept slipping. I do ok at work through the week but the weekends are hard and the evenings too. I am so hungry when I get home! We are slowly getting rid of snack items so that is good at least.

I have avoided alcohol since New Years till today. I had a little bit of Frangelico and Baileys in my coffee. Didn’t get a buzz and all it did was flavor the coffee. Still not going to do more than that but it was a considered choice to go against what I am trying to do.

And interestingly enough, now I have phlegm again. I’ve been battling sinus issues for a while now and the last two days were pretty good. Sudafed, Mucinex and saline nose drops were working. Now the phlegm across the throat is back. Am I allergic to alcohol? Was it the Reeses Pieces or Milk Duds? So chocolate? But I haven’t had chocolate since the chocolate pudding pie…. hmmm… I may have to test this theory.

Changes

Making changes is hard.

Buying the next size up in pants is hard but way more comfortable!

So the change I am trying to make is to stop snacking and to eat better. Make better choices about food.

So at dinner the other night I got a small steak, salad and steamed veggies instead of fries or other less healthy options. I skipped the dinner rolls but did try one of the appetizer things. I also stuck with water.

I started to try and count calories by using an app. I did ok for a couple days but man what a PITA. So now that I have an idea of how much my breakfast, snacks and lunch are, I am just exerting self control. I don’t think I have the fortitude to log all my foods. So I will drink more La Croix when I want a flavored drink and stop snacking outside of approved snacks.

Oh I’m sure I will slip up here and there but I have already done well this week at work.

The other thing is no more alcohol. Empty calories that do me no good.

So we shall see how this goes. Week one is in the books. I weighed 141 this past weekend. Out of college it was 130 and the last several years were 135. Breaking my foot two years ago really set me back and that is when my weight started creeping up again. I’d like to get back to 135 but 130 is my goal.

Kris has been going to the gym. I go down to the barn when he goes. I may not get as much cardio benefit but frankly if I’m going to do something that makes me hurt, I’d rather it be something I enjoy like agility or hiking. At the end of a training session with the dogs I do ladder drills and stuff before coming back up. So I am adding more exercise and I really need to get back to doing stretches in the mornings.