Thoughts Day Two

Definitely better today. I think that with Tasha’s loss it was so sudden and she was so vibrant that the loss was really noticeable. With Kota, he was slow, would be sleeping most of the time, so his loss is not as sharp. I doubt that makes much sense so let me try to explain.

Tasha was noisy. She was active. She followed us around the house, she barked and whined. She was vibrant.

Kota had become quiet, listless at times. He slept a lot and you mostly knew he was in the room because you could hear him breathing. He didn’t follow you around and half the time was still sleeping in the last place you saw him. He had become dull compared to his younger self.

I do still expect to see him slowly walk into the living room but I know he won’t. I used to ask “where’s Kota” a lot to both Kris and Twitch. Only one of which ever answered.

It is a relief now that he is gone. I say this because watching him decline was so hard to see. To see him attempt a trick and fall over or stumble was very sad. Trying to get him to eat for the last few months was very hard as well. Seeing him drop from a healthy 22 pounds to a scrawny, skin and bones 19 was awful. His back had become really roached these past few weeks, I assume from pain. I am glad that he is no longer hurting and that he does not have to fight for every breath.

I miss his fuzzy face.