Down in the Dumps

I have been really prone to sadness lately.

Kris’ grandpa Bob passed away the end of January.

Mrs G, my girl scout canoeing coach passed away this past Saturday.

Ted’s mother passed away this past weekend as well.

A friend’s digs were poisoned by rat poison somehow. They are doing ok so far.

Another friend’s dog had to have emergency spay surgery from pyometra. She should have been 4 weeks pregnant. 🙁

And another friend’s dog was just diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

Add on top of all the close personal losses, is the whole issue with mass shootings going on in schools and the lack fo the damn government to do anything about it.

I took a sick day today because of headaches and just plain can’t adult anymore. I have found myself getting surly again so a day off was needed. I slept till 10. I did some bills. I took a nap. We played outside a bit.

I hope I start feeling better soon.

Bad Stuff

I don’t like to read about bad stuff. Murders, racism, shootings, things of that nature. I don’t like to read about them because I always find myself wishing there was something I could do about it. Most of the time I don’t want to do anything about it. And that makes me feel like a terrible person. Not because I don’t want things to change but because I lack the drive to take big steps in affecting change. I try to do something if it is presented to me but thankfully murder and shootings aren’t common place in my life. I don’t experience racism very often either.

However to deny that these things exist or happen doesn’t make them go away. If my Facebook feed was filled with unicorns and rainbows would I be happier? More content in my ignorance? Maybe, but it wouldn’t help me if I then experienced those bad things.

On a smaller scale take agility. If my feed was filled with great news and every run was perfect, when I know we have things to work on, does that make me feel better about how we are doing? Does it make the trials and tribulations of my friends go away? No, it just gives a pretense of perfection that doesn’t exist.

Now don’t get me wrong, we shouldn’t blame our dogs for handling mistakes or having a bad day but seeing the bad parts shows us our weaknesses and tells us the areas we can work on to improve. If we can’t recognize the bad parts then how can we learn what needs improvement?

Just as in if we don’t recognize what makes us (me) uncomfortable in the bigger world, how can we begin to make a change so it goes away? Living in a shiny, happy bubble where it’s all roses and candy doesn’t make the bad parts go away. It just hides them until they are right in front of your face and can’t be ignored.