Category: Uncategorized

Long Time No Write

It’s been a minute since I’ve written. Ok several minutes.

Fine a few years!

Been thinking things through lately and trying to organize my thoughts so decided to give this a go as a possibility. Thinking that maybe if I write it down, it will make more sense. Or I can figure shit out.

Mostly trying to figure out how to be “happy”. I have all these ideas about things I would like “someday” so I spend more time than is probably useful, thinking those things over. Why isn’t what I have good enough? What is it that makes me want to make changes? To keep “improving” on current life?

I wanted a barn. So started looking into building a bigger barn on the current property. Excavation costs and building costs would be so high because we live on a slope. So I gave that up “at this property” and settled for some improvements to the existing barn.

I wanted a shed for the field so equipment that isn’t being used could be stored out of the sun and weather. Well that is “too expensive” so gave that up too.

I would like a master bathroom someday. I had one in my first house and miss it. Got an estimate for adding on 8’ by 20’ of house and at $200k, that’s probably not going to happen.

I spend every day working from home with freezing cold feet. Would love to have an office where I didn’t need to run a heater IN THE SUMMER! 😐

So perhaps when we pay off the HELOC we just move? But I really do like where we live. Despite the hill. And the cold feet. Sigh. Our location is great for being near friends and near town.

Why can’t I be happy?

Changes

Making changes is hard.

Buying the next size up in pants is hard but way more comfortable!

So the change I am trying to make is to stop snacking and to eat better. Make better choices about food.

So at dinner the other night I got a small steak, salad and steamed veggies instead of fries or other less healthy options. I skipped the dinner rolls but did try one of the appetizer things. I also stuck with water.

I started to try and count calories by using an app. I did ok for a couple days but man what a PITA. So now that I have an idea of how much my breakfast, snacks and lunch are, I am just exerting self control. I don’t think I have the fortitude to log all my foods. So I will drink more La Croix when I want a flavored drink and stop snacking outside of approved snacks.

Oh I’m sure I will slip up here and there but I have already done well this week at work.

The other thing is no more alcohol. Empty calories that do me no good.

So we shall see how this goes. Week one is in the books. I weighed 141 this past weekend. Out of college it was 130 and the last several years were 135. Breaking my foot two years ago really set me back and that is when my weight started creeping up again. I’d like to get back to 135 but 130 is my goal.

Kris has been going to the gym. I go down to the barn when he goes. I may not get as much cardio benefit but frankly if I’m going to do something that makes me hurt, I’d rather it be something I enjoy like agility or hiking. At the end of a training session with the dogs I do ladder drills and stuff before coming back up. So I am adding more exercise and I really need to get back to doing stretches in the mornings.

Clothing Factions

Ever imagine your clothes have a silent war for your attention?

Your bed clothes (pajamas to use a common term) vie for your attention and lord it over the daily clothes you toss in the dirty clothes bin? Perhaps your day clothes rejoin with something like, “at least she wore me out in public”.

No?

Just me?

Ah well I guess my life is kinda dull then.

Priorities

In the recent past I decided to start rephrasing things in my head. What I mean by this is that when I say something like, “I didn’t do xyz because of mno”, I rephrase that to be “I didn’t make xyz a priority because I felt mno was more important at that time”. What this does is it challenges my way of thinking of things. Instead of seeing reasons for not doing things as excuses, it changes things and I determine that some things are more important “right now”.

For example, we went kayaking today which was fun. The dogs went along and did a lot of swimming. They haven’t gotten baths in a while and were pretty stinky. When we got home I allowed myself to relax on the deck for a bit but then felt it was time to clean up the dogs. So they got baths on the deck. After that I knew they would need brushed and also were due for some fur trimming, so that was put next on my tasks. 

One item that was and still is on my list is to clean Mickey’s tank. He was pretty stinky this morning so I know it needs it, but being able to brush and trim the dog’s fur when it’s clean doesn’t happen very often. 

So while I need to clean the tank, it became less of a priority because these other items really needed done today versus tomorrow. Mickey can wait a day.

So basically I have started deciding what is more important to me at that time and trying to not make excuses for not doing them but recognize other items might take priority.

Missing Kris

I am away for the weekend in Longview Washington for an agility trial. I have been looking forward to this weekend for a while. The projects at the house have been stressing me out and this was a breather for me. I came alone and am looking forward to not wearing ear plugs for two nights. I sure hope I can actually sleep!

But I miss Kris. I like having him with me and I wish he could figure out some way to enjoy coming to trials with me but I get it. It’s boring for him.

Anyway I’m all snug in bed for the night. The dogs are in the car and I set up my pop up tent at the site this evening. I hope I’m at the right ring!