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Long Time No Write

It’s been a minute since I’ve written. Ok several minutes.

Fine a few years!

Been thinking things through lately and trying to organize my thoughts so decided to give this a go as a possibility. Thinking that maybe if I write it down, it will make more sense. Or I can figure shit out.

Mostly trying to figure out how to be “happy”. I have all these ideas about things I would like “someday” so I spend more time than is probably useful, thinking those things over. Why isn’t what I have good enough? What is it that makes me want to make changes? To keep “improving” on current life?

I wanted a barn. So started looking into building a bigger barn on the current property. Excavation costs and building costs would be so high because we live on a slope. So I gave that up “at this property” and settled for some improvements to the existing barn.

I wanted a shed for the field so equipment that isn’t being used could be stored out of the sun and weather. Well that is “too expensive” so gave that up too.

I would like a master bathroom someday. I had one in my first house and miss it. Got an estimate for adding on 8’ by 20’ of house and at $200k, that’s probably not going to happen.

I spend every day working from home with freezing cold feet. Would love to have an office where I didn’t need to run a heater IN THE SUMMER! 😐

So perhaps when we pay off the HELOC we just move? But I really do like where we live. Despite the hill. And the cold feet. Sigh. Our location is great for being near friends and near town.

Why can’t I be happy?

USDAA Brownsville, OR 2018-08-10

I took Vader and Twitch to the USDAA trial in Brownsville hosted by WAG on the 10th, 11th and 12th of August.

Vader was entered in 15 runs, 5 each day. We did Team on Friday and then regular titling classes on Sat and Sun with Steeplechase and Grand Prix thrown in. We did not place in Team but not for lack of trying!

Vader ran really well this weekend. His weaves were great and even sent out to a gamble weave for a Q on Sat! We got a super Q on Sat in Snooker as well. Our Pairs partner had an off course but Vader was clean. Standard was amazing as well! This dog is all heart and go! Love him!

On Sunday we had two knocked bars but I am sure he was tired! I was! I was having trouble remembering the courses and one of those bars was my fault for sure.

Twitch was entered in Standard on Sat and Sun. I only ran him Sat and he stopped at the second jump to chase a perceived bug. So refusal but he ran well after that! Was even under time! I decided to leave him home on Sun and I am glad I did. I was tired and a long day.

I was a chief course builder for the weekend so in addition to the 16 runs, I built every course in one ring Sat and Sun, and both rings on Friday. I am still tired and sore. Now I am going to sleep!

Those People

Those people that let their child harass a dog until the dog feels it has no choice but to use its mouth to put distance between it and the child, those people would say something like, “but the dog never growled before” or “the bite came out of nowhere”.

No it didn’t. That dog gave plenty of warnings but the people weren’t listening. Well I am listening to my dogs. But apparently my husband would end up as one of those people. He told me tonight that he was more annoyed listening to me protect my dog from the overly hyper and aggressive kid than the kid.

I don’t know what to do with that but be angry. Angry that he thinks “Vader will just walk away” forever and ever. When Vader only has so much room to move around in. When the kid is constantly following V around as V keeps walking away over and over again until I tell the kid to leave him alone. DH doesn’t see. He doesn’t get it. He would be one of those people to be surprised when V is finally cornered with no one to protect him, so he protects himself. Who will suffer the most in that scenario?

Struggles Are Real

I feel like crap. My right foot (the one I broke in 2016) has been causing me lots of pain the last few months. My knees have been hurting quite a bit and the other day at work on a walk, the right knee started clicking!

But I want to practice agility. And I want to move equipment around! But I hurt, so I don’t want to actually do that.

The struggle is hard. My brain wants to do things but my body says rest. If I do the things, then I hurt.

Oh and the house needs cleaned. At least upstairs. Which means more pain from kneeling to scrub the tub and bending to scrub the sinks. So how do I manage the balance of things that I want to do versus what I need to do and how much pain they will cause me?

Today I am resting. Kind of. I slept till 11 (called in sick) and will do the house stuff in spurts today. I plan to do some agility tonight when it is cooler.